I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
