And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
