:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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