I think i peed on brittanys purse
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
