I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Randomize
