Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize