I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
