some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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