hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
