there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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