I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
