I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
