Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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