Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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