Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
No more Irish car bombs ever.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
