just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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