Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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