i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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