i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I bet he comes in French.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
