Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
