hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
