Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
