At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
