My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Pants are for mortals
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
