Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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