im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
