Buhtt sex?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
