Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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