I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
