so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
