why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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