"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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