David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
