quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
