So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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