I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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