dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Semen is not good for contacts.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
