ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
