when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
