I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
third nipple confirmed
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
