I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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