it wasn't lemon gatorade
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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