Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
