A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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