We won't sleep together?
Where is the hickey?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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