It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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