i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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