Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I love having hate sex.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
