I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
