well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
