whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
me + whiskey = a bad person
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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