The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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