i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
