"it" just moved
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Barsexuality is the new black.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Rumble strips road head = magical
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
