I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
another moral hangover. fuck.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
