why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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