He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
