He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
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