is your mom at the bar?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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