he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
