Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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