real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you didnt know i had herpes?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
